Facial Hair: What Your Beard or Mustache Says About You
#15 Macho Macho Man
This gritty looking beard mustache combo is all about rough around the edges masculinity. Sport this if you can take care of yourself in a fight, prefer sleeping under the stars to a 5 star hotel and loathe wearing tuxedos.
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15:
Macho Macho Man
This gritty looking beard mustache combo is all about rough around the edges masculinity. Sport this if you can take care of yourself in a fight, prefer sleeping under the stars to a 5 star hotel and loathe wearing tuxedos.
14:
Hunka Hunka
The thick but neatly trimmed mustache expresses rugged manliness, balanced with genteel civility. Choose this if you have impeccable manners, are willing to wine and dine your lady and are as smooth as they come. Self confidence is the name of your game. You are well-bred, refined and polite but you are still a man. If the lady gets a chill, you would take off your jacket and put it around the lady.
13:
The Aristocrat
The long beard without any trace of a mustache gives a very scholarly and aristocratic look. Sport this if you are a man of letters, with high principles and willing to defend your sense of power and privilege. There may be a trace of obstinacy here. This man will defend his principles at all costs.
12:
The Salvador Dali
If you are an artist or otherwise just completely off the wall, then this is the mustache for you. This mustache says, "I am completely unique and original. I play by my own rules – thank you very much and I don't care at all about public opinion."
11:
Totally Old School
This mustache is completely old school and exudes a sense of pride. The man wearing this style has old world values, perhaps lives a bit too much in the past and is still harboring sexist beliefs. He'd rather spend time with the boys than with his wife but he expects her to wait on him when he gets home. Yet still he retains some of his boyish charm and sense of fun.
10:
Warm and Fuzzy
This walrus type mustache gives an air of low key, good sense of humor, laid back and fun. If you wear this mustache you should be easy going and easy to get along with. Like the walrus, you don't move too fast but who cares. You are cuddly and warm.
9:
Pencil Thin Mustache Anyone?
Nothing says "Lady's Man" more than this pencil thin mustache. You are suave and debonair but still a bit of the "bad boy." You are mischievous and fun.
8:
The Fu Manchu
The Fu Manchu is masculine yet introspective. You are both a scholar and a fighter. You are willing to fight for what you believe in but you prefer reason over impulsivity.
7:
Late Night Talk Show Host
Wear this style only if you have a great sense of humor and are willing to make a total fool of yourself in public on a regular basis. You definitely don't take yourself too seriously and you love to have fun.
6:
Environmentalist Mustache and Beard
Wear this style if you believe in global warming and care very much about the health of the planet. Also prepare to lose an election graciously even if you actually may have won the popular vote. The man wearing this beard and mustache combo is a good sport and able to roll with the punches.
5:
Can You Walk On Water?
Again, unless you can walk on water, or it's Halloween, we really do not recommend growing this beard. OK, you got us. Moses did not walk on water. He parted the Red Sea. But still we feel it's in the same ball park. If you are not some kind of a saint or a sage, we highly discourage using this beard. Unless of course you are trying to look really old or you want to repel women. If that's the case, go ahead and grow those whiskers to your heart's content. You have our blessing.
4:
Terrorist Disguise
Wear this only if you are a poet, scholar, deeply spiritual person and you don't mind getting detained at the airport. You may get mistaken for a terrorist but hey – it's only a beard!
3:
Hipster Mustache
This is a hipster mustache / beard combination, no doubt. This version of the walrus mustache says, "I am cooler than cool." So if you are a dork, I would stay away from this look. In combination with the weird, tiny square beard, the statement here is, I am super creative, hip and cutting edge. I may even walk on water so watch out!
2:
This Is Just Freakin' Weird
We've been scratching our heads. We really don't understand this beard at all. Our advice to you guys is - - If you are not a member of the band ZZ Top, we highly recommend that you do not grow this beard. The look is one of total weirdness. It's like saying, "I was born on Mars and somehow landed on earth by mistake." Unless that is the message you choose to project to the world, we highly discourage the use of this beard by anyone other than ZZ Top. It's their schtick, so to speak and they can have it!
1:
Control Freak
We daresay this beard is a bit harsh. A bit evil looking. It reminds us a bit of Dracula. The person who chooses this beard must be driven towards some evil goal and will stop at nothing. We are very frightened of this person. But if it's a hard, harsh look that you desire, we say, "Go for it!"
