How to Prevent Your Girlfriend from Stealing Your Boyfriend
#15 Say He Lives with His Parents
Ladies don't typically want to date guys who still live with their parents. Make him sound like a loser. Remember to mention that his mom does his laundry.
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15:
Say He Lives with His Parents
Ladies don't typically want to date guys who still live with their parents. Make him sound like a loser. Remember to mention that his mom does his laundry.
14:
Tell Her He's into Comic Books
For some reason, women don't like guys who are into comic books. Tell them he can't come to dinner because he's going to an out-of-town comic book convention. That should do the trick.
13:
Tell Her How Much You Like him
If she's really your friend, then she won't even think about stealing a guy you really like. If she knows you're happy, she'll leave him alone.
12:
Hide Him
If you're so worried that you can't trust your friends with your boyfriend, hide him. If they don't know he exists, they can't try to hook up with him.
11:
Buy Him a Snake, Make Him Wear It
Want you girlfriends to think you guy is a freak? Surprise him with a pet snake just before he meets them for the first time. Beg him to wear it because "you think it's sooooo cute." That should do the trick.
10:
Say He Has Really Bad Gas
As charming and handsome your boyfriend might be, your girlfriends are not going to have any interest if they think he has some serious gas. Bad gas to women is like like garlic to vampires.
9:
Make Him Wear Loony Tunes TV Shirts
Remember those Loony Tunes-themed shirts that were (mildly) popular in the 80s and early 90s. You can buy those on eBay now for next to nothing. Have him wear one of those shirts and you're girlfriends will stay far away forever.
8:
Tell Them He's Broke
They'll not only avoid him because he's broke, but also because they don't want to pick up the tab. The downside is that you'll have to pay for his meals and admission on the rare occasion that he does go out with you and your friends.
7:
Set her up with a guy friend.
Set your girlfriend up with a guy. She'll be too busy with him to even think about your boyfriend.
6:
Say He Has No Plans to Ever Get Married
If he doesn't want to settle down, she'll start looking elsewhere for a guy who can go long-term.
5:
Tell Him They're All Diseased
Make up whatever illnesses will freak out your boyfriend most. He'll be so cold when he sees them (and itching to run out of the room) that there's no way your friends will like him.
4:
Tell Them he Hates Kids
Your girlfriends aren't going to like your boyfriend if they think he hates children. Just make him sound terrible and no one will ever hit on him.
3:
Highlight His Faults
Tell your girlfriends how childish he is, how immature he is, and how he's always making a scene in public.
2:
Make Him Dress Sloppy
Your girlfriends aren't going to feel attracted to him if he looks like a total bum.
1:
Keep Them Apart
You don't trust your friends and you don't trust your boyfriend. Until you're willing to make some major life changes, keep them apart so they can't hook up. Who knows what will happen if they actually meet each other!
