How to Keep Your Marriage Healthy
#15 Remember your wedding vows.
When you got married, you made a commitment to each other to stay together no matter what -- you didn't promise to stay together "until I get bored" or "until someone better comes along" or "until I'm not happy anymore." You promised forever; promises are meant to be kept.
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15:
Remember your wedding vows.
When you got married, you made a commitment to each other to stay together no matter what -- you didn't promise to stay together "until I get bored" or "until someone better comes along" or "until I'm not happy anymore." You promised forever; promises are meant to be kept.
14:
Remember to say "I love you."
Say "I love you" at least once a day. Make sure to back that statement up with actions that show your sincerity.
13:
Give compliments freely.
Make a point of giving your partner five sincere compliments every day. Limit criticisms to three per day (none is better).
12:
Look beyond the little things.
There are always bound to be things about your partner that will annoy you. If you let these things get to you, over time they can destroy your marriage. Take the little habits that bother you in stride and focus on the things that made you fall in love with your partner in the first place.
11:
Actively work to make things better.
Marriage, like any relationship, takes work. There is no such thing as an effortless "happily ever after." Work to address small problems before they become big problems. Work to keep things fresh and interesting. Work to improve communication.
10:
Use "I" statements.
Don't make accusations like, "You never take out the trash." Instead, use "I" statements to communicate, such as, "I feel like I am doing most of the work; I would like some help."
9:
Apologize.
Sometimes you are wrong. Own up to it and sincerely apologize. And then try to make amends and change your behavior in the future.
8:
Leave your ego at the door.
Marriage isn't a competition. It's not about being "right." It's not about two individuals, it's about the two of you together as a team. Don't bring your ego into the fight.
7:
Leave the past in the past.
It is normal for couples to disagree from time to time, but small issues quickly turn into big issues when the past is brought up. Focus on the issue at hand. Don't drag up every single thing that your partner has ever done "wrong" in the past.
6:
Try something new.
Sometimes it can be easy to get stuck in a rut and this can take a toll on your relationship. Plan a date night where the two of you do something completely new together -- it should be new for both of you so that you can experience it for the first time together.
5:
Try something old.
What did the two of you enjoy doing together when you first started dating? Try going back to this common ground and rekindling your relationship.
4:
Keep the kids out of it.
If you already have kids, never, ever put them in the middle of your marital troubles. This means never belittling your partner in front of them, never asking them to take sides in an argument, etc.
3:
Wait on having kids.
If your marriage is having problems, don't fall into the trap of thinking that having a baby will make it all better. Babies change everything, and in a troubled marriage, the changes aren't always for the better.
2:
Be respectful.
It is good to express your opinions, but do it without any name-calling, put-downs, or any other forms of disrespect.
1:
Listen.
Take the time to genuinely listen to your partner. Don't interrupt. When your partner is finished talking, summarize what they said to make sure that you understood it the way that they meant it.
