15 Things You Should NEVER Do on a Date
#13 Flirt with the Help
Don't flirt with the waitstaff or bartenders—even if they ARE way better-looking than your date.
The really attractive ones wouldn't be interested in you anyway.
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15:
Bodily Functions
Don't pick your nose, fart, belch, or adjust your underwear. Such faux pas are best left to the privacy of your own home...or a bathroom stall if it's an emergency—these things are natural, after all.
14:
Talk About Your Ex
Never talk about your ex, positively or negatively. We know they suck because you're not still together, and we know they're awesome because you were with them at one point. Enough said.
13:
Flirt with the Help
Don't flirt with the waitstaff or bartenders—even if they ARE way better-looking than your date. The really attractive ones wouldn't be interested in you anyway.
12:
Say Too Much
Don't mention your less-flattering hobbies. World of Warcraft, ultimate frisbee, and scrapbooking shouldn't be mentioned until your date becomes your fully committed significant other, and even then...try to keep it under wraps.
11:
Forget Their Name
"Wow, that was really great...... guy." "I had a really nice time tonight......... pretty lady." This won't get you very far.
10:
Get Too Drunk (or High)
If you are fighting strangers, screaming for no reason, falling asleep, eating food from other tables, vomiting, or hallucinating... you're probably violating this rule. Or you're just kind of an asshole.
9:
Order Messy Food
Spaghetti, chicken wings, crawfish, and chili are not good choices for dinner. No one wants to taste the food that's left in your beard.
8:
Complain
Whining is unattractive. Your date doesn't care that no one reads your blog or that your cat has feline AIDS.
7:
Talk Only About Yourself
Don't be self-centered. Ask your date about their life. Conversation is a two-way street. Being a pretentious, non-stop talker leads to sexual dead ends.
6:
Bring Your Kids
Yeah, yeah. "Kids are the future. They're our most valuable resource." But, they are really loud and obnoxious and have snot coming out of their noses. Plus, babies—despite what you hear—are NOT cute.
5:
Be Crude
No one likes a dirty mouth (at least not at the dinner table). Save your sailor-talk for your buddies or maybe when you're more familiar with your date and won't scare them off.
4:
Bitch About the Bill
Man (or woman) up and just pay it! Don't ask to split it, don't ask for discounts, and don't forget to tip. Staring at each item line-for-line to make sure you didn't get ripped off is also a no-no.
3:
Tell Them You Love Them
Maybe you do. Maybe you're just trying an old-fashioned way to get laid. Either way, saying "I love you" to a relative stranger is a red flag in most books.
2:
Bring a Friend
It happens. It might make you more comfortable, but your date will either be confused or expecting a threesome.
1:
Talk About Religion or Politics
If things progress, your date will EVENTUALLY find out that you don't believe in evolution or that you do believe in Scientology. But keep those cards close to your definitely-not-evolved-from-a-monkey-chest for now.
