The Best Harry Potter Jokes

#15 Veela

 
How many Veela does it take to light a wand? Really just one but more than a hundred boys will probably insist to do it for her.
 

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15: Veela
How many Veela does it take to light a wand? Really just one but more than a hundred boys will probably insist to do it for her.
14: Smarts
What do you call a Hufflepuff with two brain cells? Gifted.
13: Centaurs
How many centaurs does it take to light up a single wand? Two; one to say the spell and the other to keep remarking how bright the wand is tonight.
12: Cereal
What kind of cereal do they have at Hogwarts? Hufflepuffs.
11: Love
What do Harry Potter and Charlie Brown have in common? They're both in love with the little girl with red hair.
10: Witches
Did you hear about the witch who won the lottery? Yeah, she went completely Knuts!
9: Dumbledore
Where do you find Dumbledore’s Army? Up his sleevy!
8: Muggles
You're so Muggle, you thought the floo network was on channel 54.
7: You-Know-Who
Knock knock? Who’s there? You Know. You-Know-Who? That’s right! Avada Kedavra!
6: Quidditch
What do you call a coughing Quidditch commentator? A Weasley!
5: Lord Voldemort
How many Voldemorts does it take to light up a wand? None. Why do you think he's called the Dark Lord?
4: Professor Severus Snape
Why did Snape stand in the middle of the road? So you'll never know which side he's on.
3: Sirius Black
Harry: Surely you cant be serious. Sirius: I am Sirius and dont call me Shirly.
2: Dementor
I just experienced my first kiss. It was with a Dementor.
1: Crabbe And Goyle
Why did Crabbe and Goyle cross the road? They were following Draco.