13:
Conspiracy It's all part of the one-world government's conspiracy to prevent us from educating ourselves!
12:
Killer Cat If your cat is holding up a knife and licking his paws in excitement (all while staring at your yummy flesh), then yeah... he probably wants to kill you!
11:
McCarthy Time! It's times like this that we wish Joseph P. McCarthy were still alive to root out the Commis!
10:
Not Too Bright Um... sit back for a second, look at the screen and think about it!
8:
Snack Time Considering the size of a giraffe, the notion of one eating a toy jet is probably no different than the notion of one of us eating a pretzel!
7:
Microwave Jesus Dude, he can more than just microwave a burrito. Using his mind, he can turn it into a friggen chalupa . . . yeah, bro!
6:
Evolution The irony here is that people were once good monkeys!
5:
Chuck Norris Are you sure? Are you absolutely sure? Okay... here he comes!
4:
Immortality Wow! We never knew Google had such a thorough grasp of existentialism!
2:
Help! Oh, no! Maybe the tooth fairy can save you!
1:
Color-Changing Goldfish Um... either your goldfish is evolving into a new, color-changing species, or somebody has been ashing their cigarettes in your fish bowl!