Zuck & Priscilla: Wedding, Honeymoon and Beyond!
#15 "Oh the Places You'll Go"
When Prissy gave her valedictorian speech at her high school graduation, she based it on Dr. Seuss's book "Oh The Places You'll Go." Rather prescient, we'd say.
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15:
"Oh the Places You'll Go"
When Prissy gave her valedictorian speech at her high school graduation, she based it on Dr. Seuss's book "Oh The Places You'll Go." Rather prescient, we'd say.
14:
Prissy: Tiger Moms Dream Child
Let' see: Harvard, Medical School, married to billionaire... We say Prissy's mother is feeling pretty good about this.
13:
One Million Likes
The Zuckerberg Wedding won 1,000,000 likes on its Facebook page. That translates into $0 of revenue for the newly public company.
12:
Billie Joe Armstrong, The Wedding Singer
Zucky's a big fan of Green Day, so it was too much of a surprise when Billie Joe Armstrong showed up to serenade the audience with Last Night on Earth. Reports don't indicate whether or not he broke into a cover of We Are Family, but we really wouldn't be surprised.
11:
Taking Advice from the Master
It just gets weirder and weirder... Donald Trump took to the airwaves in an effort to let Zucky know he should insist on a pre-nuptial agreement before marrying his longtime girlfriend Priscilla Chan.
10:
Timing ... Timing ... Timing
Because they married one day after the Facebook IPO, Zucky was able to protect his own share of the Facebook billions California's communal property law. Oh, Zucky! You're such a romantic!
9:
Prissy Escorted Down the Aisle by a ... Dog?!
Can we get real here, just for a second? Prissy was walked down the aisle by ... Zucky's Hungarian sheepdog. Let's just put some of these pieces together: burritos, sushi, less than stunning ring and dress, ill-fitting suit on Zucky ... kind of getting the feeling this was a rather ad hoc affair?
8:
Prissy's Favorite Receipe ...
Prissy's been rather busy since she entered Harvard and then her completing her medical degree at Stanford. Not exactly enough time to refine her culinary skills. She does have one specialty in the kitchen: lemon ricotta pizza. We'll have two slices, please.
7:
Prissy's Wedding Dress: "Respectable."
Prissy decided to select a wedding dress from Claire Pettibone, a mid-level designer with a made to order line. Claire says she realized Ms. Chan was wearing her design after the designer’s husband pointed it out in a photograph he saw of the new bride. “It’s not our top seller,” Ms. Pettibone said of the $4,700 dress, one of 40 in her bridal collection, in a phone interview. “But it’s respectable.” --Talk about damning with faint praise. --Maybe she's just being sensible.
6:
Zucky's Fall Back Plan
Priscilla just finished up medical school at UCSF. That's pretty nice. We imagine that, should things not work out for Zucky @ Facebook, he could always manage the office in Prissy's practice.
5:
Ecletic or Confused?
What was served for the wedding dinner? Sushi and Burritos. Guess the only thing missing was the cold pizza. Rumors have it Kool-Aid was served to wash down the delicious treats. Yum!
4:
Rent With An Option to Purchase.
Prissy is very, very patient. Zucky kept her spinning along for more than nine years -- from when they met at Harvard -- before she was finally able to tip him over and close the deal. From what the world can tell about Zucky's social skills, it probably took him at least that long to catch a clue.
3:
Rubies Are Really a Girl's Best Friend
The nation's leading gemologists think Zucky's engagement ring probably set him back about $25,000. --That's what the Mr. Hoodie makes in about 10 minutes. The beautiful ruby is set off by several diamond chips. Prissy: Just keep repeating over and over again: "It's the thought that counts. It's the thought that counts..."
2:
Priscilla & Zuck: Their Miserable Honeymoon in Rome
For these $1B honeymooners, it isn't all kisses, roses and champagne. In fact, Prissy and Zucky are looking like an old married couple who've run out of things to say to each other. They're been spotted at one or two of Rome's top eateries with long faces, blank faces, and very, very little eye contact. In fact, they seem to think the Eternal City is Eternally Boring. C'est dommage. --Maybe it's true that money really can't buy happiness. Perhaps the new prince and princess of Silicon Valley are preoccupied with the disastrous floatation of Facebook onto the stock market that's seen the social networking giant lose billions of dollars off its initial listing price. Maybe they're just tired of each other after a too long "engagement."
1:
Priscilla's Pre-Prenuptual: Give the Lady What He Wants.
Priscilla has know Zuck since his college days, so she has a Very Good Idea that he has issues getting close to people and some stunted social skills. That's why the lovely Prissy got her Zucky to agree to the following terms in their relationship: 1. One date per week, a minimum of a hundred minutes of alone time, not in his apartment and definitely not at Facebook. 2. A minimum of one email and two calls a day (cell is acceptable) of at least one minute in duration. Texting doesn’t count. IMs count as only half an email. 3. A joint meeting with a venture capitalist at a diner, where you’re introduced as “a strategic partner,” is not a dinner date. An invitation to play Grand Theft Auto also does not count as a date. 4. The dot-commer is required to provide at least one gift a month. Electronic teddy bears and digital cupcakes sent via Facebook do not count as gifts. 5. Vacations must involve at least two hours a day of recreation or non-work activity. Spending three days at the TED conference watching lectures on climate change doesn’t count as spring break. 6. Like any practical deal-maker, the dot-com dater should stipulate that they can break the agreement if a second strategic partner should express interest under better terms. Break-up fees are optional.
