The 15 Best Candidates for Tom Cruise's New Wife

#15 Hayden Panettiere

 
Because she likes old dudes. Seriously. Most of Hayden's boyfriends have been at least 10 years her senior. So even 50-year-old Tom may have a shot.
 

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15: Hayden Panettiere
Because she likes old dudes. Seriously. Most of Hayden's boyfriends have been at least 10 years her senior. So even 50-year-old Tom may have a shot.
14: Evan Rachel Wood
This spunky cute 24-year-old dated Marilyn Manson and almost married him in 2010. With her...off-center standards, Tom Cruise might be right up her alley.
13: Emily VanCamp
She's good for Tom Cruise because she starred in The Ring Two. Clearly she’s not afraid of a little horror and maybe she’ll be able to survive whatever drove Tom Cruise's first three wives away.
12: This Alpaca
Just Listen. She’s blonde and she’s super cute. And because she’s an alpaca, she won’t care about Tom Cruise’s religious beliefs or take half when they eventually get divorced.
11: Aimee Teegarden
Tom likes to troll kids shows for wives so Aimee Teegarden would be right up his alley. She’s blonde, 22 and cute and she’s been in lots of kids stuff like Hannah Montana, Disney’s Prom and played a teenager in Friday Night Lights.
10: Ke$ha
We’re laughing out loud just thinking about it. What a trainwreck. They’ll be in tabloid headlines within a week.
9: Lindsay Lohan
At 26, Lindsay may already be a little too old for Tom Cruise. But at 50 Tom could afford to lower his standards. And since neither of them are unfamiliar with crazy outbursts, their relationship should be fun to watch.
8: Dania Ramirez
Tom and this X Men 3 actress would hit it off great. Maybe revisiting his love for latina women like Penelope Cruz will give him better luck.
7: Kate Upton
Kate Upton is everything Tom Cruise likes. Not only is she blonde and leggy like Katie but she’s 5’10” and Tom likes them tall.
6: Lisa Simpson
Yeah she’s fictional, but Tom Cruise isn’t unfamiliar with departures from reality. And adult Lisa Simpson is blonde, attractive and a child actress just like his last girlfriend. They could be a match made in heaven.
5: Elisabeth Moss
At 30, Elisabeth Moss is way too old for Tom Cruise. But she's taken a walk on the blonde side. And she’s a Scientologist too which would make them two immortal peas in a pod.
4: Rumer Willis
Tom Cruise loves A-list actresses. Rumer Willis is young and hot and with two famous parents she'll be a star soon. And if Bruce Willis doesn’t beat him up first, Tom might try his luck.
3: Emma Stone
At 23, blonde and beautiful, Emma Stone is right up his alley. However if they do get together, more than one Emma Stone fan will break down in tears.
2: Taylor Swift
Tom Cruise let the world know he was interested ir rock stardom by embarrassing himself in the flop Rock of Ages. Since playing a rock star didn't work, maybe dating one will do the trick.
1: Miley Cyrus
Because she's 20. If we know anything about Tom Cruise it's that he loves a 20-year-old. All of his wives were 20-something when they met. And we bet Tom doesn't think that's a little creepy even as he approaches his 50th birthday.